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Stop Complaining: How To Complain Less & Feel Happier

In Happiness by Kate J Parker

I have given up complaining………

Well mostly, I am still human and the odd complaint does slip through. But I have reduced the number of times I complain to others and have better control over my negative complaining thoughts.

I practice gratitude daily, yet was constantly complaining about ‘life’ to friends, family, and myself. It was exhausting focusing on the negative and I wanted to break the cycle.

Complaining feels good but it’s not good for us. Us humans receive a perverted sense of satisfaction by sharing negativity with others.

The danger is that the more we complain the easier it becomes. Our focus turns to the negative which makes it harder to experience the joy in life.

Complaining keeps us in the ‘fight or flight’ response. We stay on edge and ready to react.

The more we complain, the more grumpy and difficult we become. It is a vicious cycle of complaining, and then complaining more because people are reacting to us.

So, I made a change. I started to capture my complaints as they entered my thoughts and divide them into three categories, each with a different way of responding
• Ditch it
• Flip it
• Deal with it

Learn how to live a complaint free life! Click here for a free worksheet.

Ditching, flipping, & dealing with complaints.

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Stop Complaining Worksheet

Ditching Complaints

These are complaints that are so absurd I place them in the ‘ditch it’ bucket.

I blame PMS for most complaints in this category because they are usually irrational and silly!

  • Examples include:
    My husband walking too loudly.
  • Strangers not acknowledging me when I stop for the cross walk.
  • A bruise on the apple I want to eat.

You get the idea. They are just silly and not even worth my mental energy. I just laugh these off and let the thoughts slide away.

Learn how to live a complaint free life! Click here for a free worksheet.

Ditching, flipping, & dealing with complaints.

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Stop Complaining Worksheet

Flipping Complaints

This is the biggest category. These complaints are the ones with the biggest air time. Not only do I tell them to myself over and over, I often find myself discussing them with friends and family.

I am not seeking a solution to these complaints. For some reason it feels good to think and talk about them.

Complaining about them is not adding anything to the quality of my life. In fact, it is doing the opposite by making me entitled and ungrateful

These complaints include:

  • I hate my job
  • Doing the laundry sucks!
  • I hate thinking of new dinners to cook every day.
  • Vacuuming the floors makes my back hurt.
  • Not another bill!
  • Why don’t my kids ever listen to me?
  • I dread trying to park the car during school pick up and drop off.
  • Ahhh – another traffic jam!
  • I can’t believe the supermarket doesn’t have the bread I want again!

The idea of flipping complaints is to turn them into something to be grateful for. When these complaints arise, I acknowledge them, and then look for the silver lining. I then flip the thoughts from a complaint into a blessing.

For example:

‘I hate my job’ becomes ‘I am so lucky to have a job that pays my bills.’

or

‘Doing the laundry sucks!’ becomes ‘I love having clean clothes to wear.’

or

‘I dread trying to park the car during school pick up and drop off’ becomes ‘I am lucky I don’t have to walk to school in the heat or the cold.’

Click here and download a free worksheet on flipping complaints.

Ditching, flipping, & dealing with complaints.

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Stop Complaining Worksheet

Dealing With Complaints or Solution-based Complaining

If something becomes so unbearable it is affecting my quality of life it needs to be dealt with by finding a solution.

Normally I will complain without searching for a solution. This is because our ego (read more about the ego here) feels good about complaining and making someone or something wrong.

When dealing with complaints there are a couple of guidelines:

  • Before you start discussing the complaint you need to be committed to finding a solution as opposed to being fixated on your grievance.
  • You need to have a clear outcome in your mind.
  • You need to address the one situation and not bring up previous related, or unrelated issues.

For example:

 

Complaint:

I hate vacuuming because it hurts my back.

Desired Outcome:

To have clean floors and a back that doesn’t ache.

Possible Approaches:

  1. Talk to my husband and see if he can vacuum the floors. I could do one of his household tasks in exchange.
  2. Purchase a robot vacuum cleaner.
  3. Hire a cleaner to vacuum weekly.
  4. Go to the doctors and find out what is wrong with my back!

Actual Outcome:

In this situation, we hired a cleaner and I also went to the doctors and found a solution to my back problems. Now I no longer complain about vacuuming or having a sore back!

Click here to download my worksheet to help you find a solution to your complaints.

Ditching, flipping, & dealing with complaints.

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Stop Complaining Worksheet

By ditching, flipping or dealing with our complaints, we stop complaining just for the sake of complaining! We become more positive and find it easier to deal with other people and situations.

Ditching, flipping, & dealing with complaints.

Access your worksheet & become a VivaLaMe VIP

Fill in your details below and the worksheet will be emailed to you.
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Stop Complaining Worksheet

I have created this free download to dealing with complaints, which includes worksheets on Flipping complaints and finding solutions to complaints. You can download your by clicking the image above.

Related Article: Gratitude is the Opposite of Entitlement. How Entitled Are You?

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